A Million Little Pieces 6

The book A Million Little Pieces is a graphic and touching autobiography by James Frey about his time in rehab.  He's been through many, many ups and downs, wanting to leave rehab, suffering emotional and physical pain, renaissance in family life and with his friends, etc.  The last section includes two major tests for James.  One, before he is released from rehab, is when he is on a quest to find Lily and finds himself resisting the power of drugs during the journey.  After he is released, while out with his brother he orders a drink and refuses to drink it.  James is sober, and his self blazed path worked out for him in the end.  He's still sober, and after reading the entire account, I have slightly mixed feelings about James.

James is smart, and self-willed.  But after reading the comments on my last post, my view of him is slightly different.  Yes, he conquered his addiction, but then again, he was the one who let himself do it in the first place.  I'm proud that he stayed sober, but there is still a possibility of relapse.  In the very last pages of the book, little summaries of how his friends and other patients lives are included.  So many of them relapsed, or were found dead in crack houses, etc. and it makes me think that rehab isn't very effective.  It will be interesting to see if we hear any more from or about James, and I'm curious as to if it will be positive, or negative.  His story is truly amazing and touching, but I do have a bit of doubt about the whole story and his future success.

A Million Little Pieces 4 (Ethical)

James Frey in A Million Little Pieces is a drug addict, an alcoholic, a drug dealer, and a criminal. Recently in the memoir, James was sentenced to three years in jail. Although we aren't told much about what society thinks about James, I think it's safe to assume people would view him as a very ethically wrong person. However, I believe that people shouldn't judge until they've walked two moons in someone else's shoes. People who aren't addicted can't comprehend the mind of an addict. James knows that he's made bad decisions, and writes, "Don't...Need this bullshit to know i'm out of control" (200). His ability to be truthful with himself let's us know that he doesn't break the rules of society because he wants to, but rather because he must, due to the addiciton.
He writes about how his truly obsessed mind works, "The life of the Addict is always the same. THere is no excitement, no glamour, no fun. THere are no good times, there is no joy, there is no happiness. There is no future and no escape. THere is only an obsession. An all0encompassing, fully enveloping, completely overwhelming obsession" (178). He also describes himself, "In the terror of my addicted mind, all is Black" (200). James' illegal activity and bad decision making shouldn't be excused, but the reasons for his actions can be explained because of the way his mind works. People who are addicted can't stop themselves from doing everything and anything to get themselves drugs. Though it's ethically wrong, these people who that it's ethically wrong, and James getting himself on the right track and hopefully being able to resist the temptations will turn him into a morally correct citizen.

A Million Little Pieces 3

This week's reading from James Frey's memoir A Million Little Pieces told how James life was changing in rehab. Because James refuses the conventional treatments, we perceive his actions as "taking one step forward and two steps back." However, though he doesn't go along with the typical ways, I think he's making a lot of progress using his own tools. Though his counselors don't seem to be relating much to him, he's being impacted in less traditional ways, such as through a book called "Tao" and simply by other addicts in the center. James describes Tao, "These things, these poems, these words, these meanings, they make sense to me. They do no tell me to do anything or be antying or believe in anything or become anything. They don't jdge me or try to convince me..." (201). In the story of his life, James refuses to use the suggested "The Twelve Steps," and tells everyone he will do what he needs to. Though everyone is skeptical of him, his acceptance of the Tao gives us reason to believe he can change using his own way. The other main thing that makes us think James can stay sober by blazing his own trail is how he relates with the other addicts. This section of the book really heats up between James and a girl he met at the rehab center, Lily. During one of their secret late-night dates James writes about Lilly, "I stare at her, let my smile fad it won't fade inside. I have never felt so safe or calm. This hard, damaged, drug-Addicted Badass Girl sitting in front of me with her black hair and her braided pigtails and her clear water blue eyes and her scars her scars the scars on her wrist nakes beneath a plastic watch makes me feel safe and calm" (235). Though there is a rule about no dating in rehab, James' breaking of the rule is okay because he truly believes he needs her to help him do what he must do.
This section is also very important because James' parents come to the center. He dreads "the Family Program" because he's always hated his parents. James writes about this feeling, "I sit and I watch them. The Fury is in me nad has risen it is peaking. I don't understand why this happens, but every time I'm near them, it does happen. THey try to love me, I hurt them. They try to be decent and reasonable, I won't be decent or reasonable. They try to help me, I resent them for it. I don't understand why. They are my Parents. THey are doing the best they can do" (252). Despite how difficult is is to be around them, they make a lot of progress by sharing their feelings with each other, and ultimately by James' decision to sincerely try to be better to them. The meeting with his parents ends with a hug, "I step forward, put one of my arms around each of them, and they each put one of their arms around me. We pull each of us pulls and we hug each other...The Fury flares and i am momtarily uncomfortable, but the strength I am giving and the strength I am taking kills it" (308). James patching things up with his parents is important to the book because family is so important in life. I think that this will really help James to reach his goal, and he keeps tying the loose ends of his life, and putting things back together. His unconventional and independant ideas may seem wrong, but I think he's a strong and smart man who knows what he's doing, and will prove everyone wrong.

All My Sons

The characters choices and actions in All My Sons directly relate to whether they want to benefit their family, or benefit society.  The glaring example of a character whose purpose is to protect and benefit his family is Joe Keller.  He says "For you, a business for you!"  after his son confronts him about the crime he committed.  He thinks that because he was protecting and benefitting his family, it justifies his horrible actions.  Although he wants to support his family (with especially finance/keeping the business) his son disagrees and thinks the opposite: that one should follow the rules of society above anything else, including family.  Chris gets very upset with his father, and just the thought that his dad "killed hundreds of men" is repulsive.  The dynamic differences between the two bring about a very emotionally-charged conflict, and these conflicting views of what is important, family or society, is a center of discussion in today's society as well.

I think that the needs of society are almost always more important and should be obeyed most of the time.  Although family is above all for many people, hurting people for your family is across the line.  Major offenses against society are never justifiable, however doing something harmless against society in order to benefit family is sometimes okay.  Depending on the issue, Society should be, and normally is above all and should always be obeyed.

A Million Little Pieces 2

As I continued reading the autobiography A Million Little Pieces by James Frey, the changes in his behaviors and thoughts were remarkable. The first hundred pages vividly depicted James throwing up, having brutal surgeries and a horrible detox. This weeks reading was a change in pace, James wrote about himself aknowledging and appreciating other people, and becoming a slightly less negative and harsh person.
During this section, James tried to leave the rehab center to use drugs and alcohol until he dies. He's stopped by a man named Leonard, who convinces him to stay for just 24 more hours. This day that he promised to stay ended up being crucial to his development in rehab. During this day, he enjoys watching a football game with fellow patients, has positive interactions with many other patients, and things start looking up for him. Then, visitors come for him and he writes, "I do not look forward to seeing People from my past. They rarely have kind things to say to me and I have always done something to deserve their disdain" (125). His brother and two friends come to visit him, and are very positive, forgiving, hopeful, and sincerely glad to see him. After they voice their emotion-filled concerns and hope to James, he writes about his brother, "He starts to break and seeing him start to break makes me start to break and I don't want that. He steps forward and he puts his arms around me and he hugs me and I hug him and it feels good and strong and pure and real. This is my Brother, my Blood, the only thing in this World created from that which i was created from, the Person in this World who knows me best, the Person who would miss me most if I was gone. That he cared enough to come here and that he cares enough to nearly break in front of me means something" (133). Just knowing that someone cares for James gives him a reason to fight his disease and stay alive, and makes him appreciate something in life. Before he went to rehab, James wouldn't have accepted love from anyone, and his enjoyment from the visit shows us his growth in recognizing people and his effect on them. Also, because they forgot the problems in the past, James realizes that maybe he actually can start over.
James lets people impact him during this section. He listens to a fellow patient's story about when he hit bottom, and symathizes with him, "I wonder where he is and what he's thinking, and as I replay his story in my mind, it becomes more and more devastating. Although he wasn't on SSkid Row or in a Ghetto or in a Crackhouse, and although he still has a job and a Family and a life, he lost the most important thing a human being can lose, which was dignity" (156). Previously, James blocked out others stories or lectures, but when he finally allowed himself to listen, his feelings toward this man show his awareness of other people. James story and acceptance of other people tell us that he is a good man, who has just done bad things. Hope for James improves during this section, and reading this book makes me want him to succeed more and more.

A Million Little Pieces 1

For quarter 2, I'm reading A Million Little pieces, by James Frey.  This book is about James's six weeks in rehab.  This book was recommended to me by many people, and it's easy to see why because of the excitement and graphic descriptions.

The starting of the book sets the tone for a brutal story.  James allows us to see how severe his condition is.  When talking with a doctor at the center, this conversation with a doctor sets the stage for the story, "At fifteen I was drinking every day, at eighteen I was drinking and doing drugs every day.  It has gotten much much heavier since then" (28).  After reading about how usage, I became anxious and nervous.  James's honestly reveals to us that he's not in denial about needing help, and that he realizes how bad his problem is.  The first 100 pages include alot of descriptions about his detox and withdrawl, "I haven't had a drink in three days and I haven't done coke in five so the sickness isn't as bad as normal, but I'm starting to feel sick in other ways... I wonder what is hapenning to me" (33).  Also included in James withdrawl are dreams, "I had a dream, a bad dream, and it completely fucked me up.

When Alcoholics and Addicts stop drinking and using drugs, their subconsvious minds still crave them.  That craving is sometimes manifested in dreams that can seem startlingly real and, in a sense, are real" (53).  These quotes give us insight on how long and hard Jame's journey will be, and it makes me question whether or not he'll be able to handle the recovery. 

In A Million Little Pieces, James continually shows us how tough he is.  James has an accident at the beginning of the book, and it misplaces his teeth.  He has a procedure to cap teeth, replace them, and have root canals.  The doctor says right before the procedure, "This is going to be incredibly painful.  Because your'e currently a Patient at a Drug Treatment Center, we can't use any anesthesia, local or general, and when we're done, we can't give you any painkillers" (64).  During the procedure, James explains his feelings, "The sander vounces slightly and white electric pain hits my mouth and the sander comes bakcn and holds and pain spreads through my body from the top down and every muscle in my body flexes and I squeeze the balls and my eyes start to tear and the hair on the back of my neck stands straight and my tooth fucking hurts like the point of a bayonet is being driven through it" (65).  The procedure ends and James paints because of the pain.  His willingness to continue with the extremely painful surgery tells us that he's perseverant, and i think this trait will get him through rehab.  The book is sickening and interesting, and it makes me want to keep reading in hopes that James will Recover.

A Million Little Pieces #1